feat(mongodb-runner): usability improvements for drivers DRIVERS-3335

[blink1073]

Description

• Fix handling of keyFile: read/write cannot occur until user is added, and can never be done on an arbiter
• Add support for requireApiVersion, which must be applied after the cluster has started and update the default connection options.
• Allow args to be passed as part of the config file.
• Only write the connection string to stdout, so it can be captured by the calling process

Tested with:

• DRIVERS-3335 Add alternate server start scripts using mongodb-runner mongodb-labs/drivers-evergreen-tools#706
• Python driver
• PHP Driver
• C Driver

We didn't need to add extra support for unix sockets, instead we pass in the unix socket prefix.
I couldn't think of an elegant way to let mongodb-runner manage the keyFile, perhaps a new top level argument keyFileContent?

Open Questions

Checklist

• I have signed the Contributor License Agreement (https://www.mongodb.com/legal/contributor-agreement)
• New tests and/or benchmarks are included
• Documentation is changed or added

[coveralls]

coverage: 78.319% (+0.2%) from 78.084%
when pulling e8a3f1d on blink1073:drivers-tools-followup
into d2d12f3 on mongodb-js:main.

[blink1073]

After struggling a bit with Windows and a failed attempt to test with OIDC, this is ready for review. 😅

[addaleax]

Current version LGTM from my side but given that I've changed quite a bit I wouldn't merge this until @blink1073 can take another look (and only if CI is green, of course)