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| 1 | +INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY |
| 2 | + |
| 3 | + The room is filled with penned and unpenned animals of all |
| 4 | + kinds: snakes, lizards, birds, a dog, cats, etc. Craig sits |
| 5 | + on the couch and looks at the want ads, the TV is on in the |
| 6 | + background. Elijah, the monkey, sits next to Craig holding |
| 7 | + his stomach and moaning weakly. On the TV, Derek Mantini is |
| 8 | + working a 60 foot high marionette from the top of a water tower. |
| 9 | + The assembled crowd is enthralled. |
| 10 | + |
| 11 | + |
| 12 | + TV ANNOUNCER |
| 13 | + The crowd is enthralled as Derek |
| 14 | + Mantini, arguably the greatest |
| 15 | + puppeteer in the history of the |
| 16 | + world, performs "The Belle of |
| 17 | + Amherst" with his 60 foot Emily |
| 18 | + Dickinson puppet, directed by the |
| 19 | + inimitable Charles Nelson Reilly. |
| 20 | + |
| 21 | + Charles Nelson Reilly floats by in a hot air balloon. |
| 22 | + |
| 23 | + CHARLES NELSON REILLY |
| 24 | + Beautiful, beautiful! Nyong-nyong. |
| 25 | + |
| 26 | + CRAIG |
| 27 | + Gimmicky bastard. |
| 28 | + |
| 29 | + Craig switches off the TV. He comes across an ad for a |
| 30 | + female puppeteer to teach at a girls school. Craig rubs |
| 31 | + his chin in thought, then stands with great determination. |
| 32 | + |
| 33 | + |
| 34 | + MUSIC IN: TRIUMPHANT |
| 35 | + |
| 36 | + CUT TO: |
| 37 | + |
| 38 | + INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S BEDROOM - DAY |
| 39 | + |
| 40 | + Craig searches through Lotte's closet, looking for the |
| 41 | + right dress. |
| 42 | + |
| 43 | + CUT TO: |
| 44 | + |
| 45 | + INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S BATHROOM - DAY |
| 46 | + |
| 47 | + Craig waxes his body, shaves his face. |
| 48 | + |
| 49 | + CUT TO: |
| 50 | + |
| 51 | + INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S BEDROOM - DAY |
| 52 | + |
| 53 | + Craig paints his nails while he chats on the phone. Craig |
| 54 | + pulls stockings and underwear from Lotte's drawer. Craig |
| 55 | + picks a wig from a mannequin head on Lotte's dressing table. |
| 56 | + |
| 57 | + |
| 58 | + CUT TO: |
| 59 | + |
| 60 | + INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY |
| 61 | + |
| 62 | + Craig, at the sewing machine, is sewing padding to go onto |
| 63 | + his chest and around his hips. |
| 64 | + |
| 65 | + CUT TO: |
| 66 | + |
| 67 | + INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S BATHROOM - DAY |
| 68 | + |
| 69 | + Craig applies make up in the bathroom mirror. |
| 70 | + |
| 71 | + |
| 72 | + CUT TO: |
| 73 | + |
| 74 | + INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S BEDROOM - DAY |
| 75 | + |
| 76 | + Craig, now looking very much like a woman, admires himself |
| 77 | + in the full length mirror. |
| 78 | + |
| 79 | + CUT TO: |
| 80 | + |
| 81 | + EXT. STREET - DAY |
| 82 | + |
| 83 | + Craig hails a taxi in his get-up. Men on the street turn |
| 84 | + and leer at him. |
| 85 | + |
| 86 | + CUT TO: |
| 87 | + |
| 88 | + INT. HEADMISTRESS’S OFFICE - DAY |
| 89 | + |
| 90 | + Craig and the headmistress chat over tea. Craig is quite |
| 91 | + animated and charming. The admiring headmistress smiles |
| 92 | + and nods her head in approval. |
| 93 | + |
| 94 | + CUT TO: |
| 95 | + |
| 96 | + INT. CLASSROOM - DAY |
| 97 | + |
| 98 | + Craig instructs a class of uniformed girls. He draws |
| 99 | + complex diagrams of puppets on the blackboard. The |
| 100 | + students are transfixed, except for one troubled girl who |
| 101 | + eyes Craig sullenly from the back of the room as she plays |
| 102 | + with a switchblade. |
| 103 | + |
| 104 | + CUT TO: |
| 105 | + |
| 106 | + INT. THEATER - DAY |
| 107 | + |
| 108 | + Craig guides the hands of the troubled teenage girl, who |
| 109 | + is trying to manipulate a marionette. The girl looks up |
| 110 | + at Craig. Her tough facade crumbles and she smiles. Craig |
| 111 | + smiles back. |
| 112 | + |
| 113 | + CUT TO: |
| 114 | + |
| 115 | + EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS - DAY |
| 116 | + |
| 117 | + The girls carry Craig on their shoulders. Everyone is joyous. |
| 118 | + |
| 119 | + CUT TO: |
| 120 | + |
| 121 | + EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - DAY |
| 122 | + |
| 123 | + Craig leads the girls in a bike race. Everyone is laughing |
| 124 | + and screaming. One of the girls notices that Craig is |
| 125 | + riding a man's bike. |
| 126 | + |
| 127 | + MUSIC OUT. |
| 128 | + |
| 129 | + CUT TO: |
| 130 | + |
| 131 | + INT. JAIL CELL - NIGHT |
| 132 | + |
| 133 | + Craig sits in a holding cell with several other men. He is |
| 134 | + still in the dress, but the wig is in his lap and the |
| 135 | + make-up is smeared off. Lotte appears with a cop outside |
| 136 | + Craig's cell. The door is opened, and Craig, Lotte, and |
| 137 | + the cop head down the hall. |
| 138 | + |
| 139 | + CUT TO: |
| 140 | + |
| 141 | + INT. CAR - NIGHT |
| 142 | + |
| 143 | + Lotte drives. Craig looks out the window. Both are silent. |
| 144 | + |
| 145 | + LOTTE |
| 146 | + (finally) |
| 147 | + Is the trial date set? |
| 148 | + |
| 149 | + CRAIG |
| 150 | + May 11th. |
| 151 | + |
| 152 | + More silence. |
| 153 | + |
| 154 | + LOTTE |
| 155 | + Why'd you do it, Craig? |
| 156 | + |
| 157 | + CRAIG |
| 158 | + I'm a puppeteer. |
| 159 | + |
| 160 | + They drive in silence. |
| 161 | + |
| 162 | + CUT TO: |
| 163 | + |
| 164 | + INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S LIVING ROOM - MORNING |
| 165 | + |
| 166 | + Craig sits on the couch in his bathrobe and studies the |
| 167 | + want ads. He sees an ad for a company called "WOMYN-TEERS", |
| 168 | + looking for "an African-American, Lesbian Separatist |
| 169 | + Puppeteer for Community Outreach." Craig rubs his chin in |
| 170 | + thought, stands with determination. |
| 171 | + |
| 172 | + |
| 173 | + MUSIC IN: SAME AS BEFORE. |
| 174 | + |
| 175 | + CUT TO: |
| 176 | + |
| 177 | + INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S BATHROOM - MORNING |
| 178 | + |
| 179 | + Craig applies a dark pancake make-up to his face. |
| 180 | + |
| 181 | + CUT TO: |
| 182 | + |
| 183 | + INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S BEDROOM - MORNING |
| 184 | + |
| 185 | + Craig pulls an afro-style wig off a mannequin head on |
| 186 | + Lotte's dressing table. |
| 187 | + |
| 188 | + CUT TO: |
| 189 | + |
| 190 | + EXT. STREET - MORNING |
| 191 | + |
| 192 | + Craig, now made up to look like a black, lesbian |
| 193 | + separatist, hails a cab. Women look at him longingly. |
| 194 | + |
| 195 | + CUT TO: |
| 196 | + |
| 197 | + INT. CAR - NIGHT |
| 198 | + |
| 199 | + Craig, dressed as the black lesbian and beaten to a pulp. |
| 200 | + sits in the passenger seat. Lotte drives. |
| 201 | + |
| 202 | + LOTTE |
| 203 | + (finally) |
| 204 | + Why, Craig. why? |
| 205 | + |
| 206 | + CRAIG |
| 207 | + (through fat lip) |
| 208 | + I... puppeteer. |
| 209 | + |
| 210 | + CUT TO: |
| 211 | + |
| 212 | + INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY |
| 213 | + |
| 214 | + Craig reads the paper. He comes across an ad: "Female |
| 215 | + puppeteer wanted for nudist colony marionette staging of |
| 216 | + 'Oh, Calcutta!'" Craig rubs his chin. |
| 217 | + |
| 218 | + CUT TO: |
| 219 | + |
| 220 | + INT. CAR - NIGHT |
| 221 | + |
| 222 | + Craig sits in the passenger seat. He is made up as a |
| 223 | + woman and wears a full-body rubber "naked woman" suit. |
| 224 | + Lotte drives. |
| 225 | + |
| 226 | + LOTTE |
| 227 | + (finally) |
| 228 | + You know, maybe you should speak to |
| 229 | + someone about this. |
| 230 | + |
| 231 | + CUT TO: |
| 232 | + |
| 233 | + INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE' S LIVING ROOM - DAY |
| 234 | + |
| 235 | + Craig sees a personal ad: "Male puppeteer looking for |
| 236 | + attractive female puppeteer for friendship, travel, and |
| 237 | + much much more." Craig rubs his chin, then thinks better |
| 238 | + of it and sighs. He finds a want ad calling for a |
| 239 | + "short-statured file clerk with unusually nimble and |
| 240 | + dexterous fingers needed for speed filing." Craig writes |
| 241 | + down the address. |
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